agreed, and I like how you want to encourage things like reading, but I wouldn't eliminate telling them they're gorgeous. Being told that can and does have a profound impact on a child, but not necessarily a negative one. Point out that they're gorgeous human beings inside and out, putting emphasis on traits/features/talents unique to them, no matter how "silly" or whatever society's overall view may be on it, I believe that could be the most beneficial thing said to them during childhood.

A lovely story.

Truly our society looks too often on how one should look ( a socially generated image that has nothing to do with logic or empathy). They praise a man's or woman's look on how close we come to replicating what we see on TV or in magazines. It's often told to us in various forms that if we are sexy or beautiful we will be loved, rich, and successful. Those who are considered "ugly" become outcasts. They are often portrayed as stupid, poor, and friendless. Many comedy movies make light of this as do many jokes. The "take on for the team" the "fat chick/guy" or even the "ugly duckling syndrome."

In many movies we see a young woman or man who look "ugly" show how nice they are and then they do something that makes them beautiful in the social aspect. Only after they change their looks do things seem to turn around.

The aspect of beauty isn't even matched with empathy or intellect very often. On normal daytime TV we see people like Brittany Spears, the Hiltons, and many reality TV shows of whom do many illegal and idiotic things, yet they get away with it because they are rich. It's insinuated that they are rich because they are beautiful. They can do anything they want and get away with it because they are popular for that beauty.

.....and yet none of them can truly say that they are happy. Those people do even more stunts, many of them brought on by unjustified anger. They even makes more money by prostrating themselves with these stunts. Many may have ego, but none can say they truly feel loved. None of them can say that they are happy with themselves or proud.

These are some extreme examples, but no one seems to make those points in our social mediums.

If I have children I want to be able to teach them that happiness and beauty are not what a person carries on the outside of their skin, but in their heart, in their souls. I want them to be able to grow their self esteem based on their own actions and goals. In school if they are berated by other children because they don't fit the social stereotype, my wish is for them to be able to laugh it off and hold their heads high because they know the real truth to happiness. When my daughters put on make up for a job interview I want them to know that make up does not make a woman. Yes it is deemed professional, but my hope is that they know make up is merely a mask and not a needed thing in order to feel confident.

I love your take on things. I wish more people thought like you.

A very moving story. I can only pray those little girls will grow up to see themselves for what's really important: what's inside.

A very interesting topic. I've always wondered why I'm not that bothered about make-up, and if I can't walk in a pair of shoes I don't buy them. The best I can suggest is that I never saw my mum worrying about make-up or whether she looks good enough to be seen. This still begs the question, how do you break out of that cycle; you certainly can't blame a mother because a child perceives her insecurities.
Of course my line of thinking could be completely wrong and it may have been other factors entirely... so hard to say.